Thursday, October 30, 2008

Just me.

I've been mildly obsessed with Myers-Brigg lately. <-- take the test, you know you want to!

Hi, I'm Amy, and I'm an ENFP. It's corny, I know, but it has really helped me understand myself and others better. I feel more perceptive to personality differences that drive the conflicts I feel in relationships, and this helps me not take things personally or blame others too quickly. Understanding my natural tendencies helps me make decisions, because I can stop and evaluate the situation (a very ENFP thing to do, btw) and decide whether I'm going to blame the world for not understanding me, or try to make myself understood in a way that others might recieve better.

Ultimately, I must take responsibility for my actions. I believe there is wrong and right and absolute truth and all that, but people are messy and we make complicated mistakes. We all have natural tendencies which we must come to terms with at some point or another. There are things I wish I could tell people individually, but am usually too afraid when the time comes. Then I remembered, I have a blog and that here I can tell whoever I want whatever I want. I'm not asking people to excuse all my actions, but still, there are a few things I wish people could know about me... It's long, but I promise to read about you if you read about me. On the surface it seems like a shallow way to get to know people, but I've really benefited even in the last week just by understanding people's tendencies that they might not even recognize (or communicate freely, depending on the type)

To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values. An ENFP needs to feel that they are living their lives as their true Self, walking in step with what they believe is right. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their lives and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves.

Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values.

ENFPs take their relationships very seriously, but also approach them with a childlike enthusiasm and energy. The ENFP gets a lot of their personal satisfaction from observing the happiness of others. They accept and value people as individuals, and are strongly egalitarian. They believe that individuals have the right to be themselves, and are very tolerant and accepting of most people.

Conflict situations are sources of extreme stress to the ENFP. They have a tendency to brush issues under the rug rather than confront them head-on, if there is likely to be a conflict. They are also prone to "give in" easily in conflict situations, just to end the conflict. They might agree to something which goes against their values just to end the uncomfortable situation. In such cases, the problem is extended and will return at a later time.

There are a couple of difficult relationship areas for the ENFP. The first problem is that many ENFPs have a problem leaving bad relationships. They tend to internalize any problems and take them on their own shoulders, believing that the success or failure of the relationship is their own responsibility. They don't like to admit defeat, and will stick with bad situations long after they should have left. When they do leave the relationship, they will believe that the failure was their fault, and that there was surely something they could have done to save the relationship.
May feel intense anger towards people who criticize them or try to control them. But will be unable to express the anger. Left unexpressed, the anger may fester and simmer and become destructive.

If ENFPs do not find a place where they can use their gifts and be appreciated for their contributions, they usually feel frustrated.

(compiled from 3 different descriptions)

3 comments:

anita said...

thanks for posting this, Amy. you're so perceptive and articulate; even in the midst of messyness, you seem to make things make sense. i definitely see these ENFP-things in you. i need to take another long look at my INFP-ness to figure out some things, too. i just tried those links and started skimming, and i'm already inspired. yay for being idealists! peace ;-)

indiana.amy said...

Thanks for taking time to read it, my INFP sister :-)

Andy said...

hooray for enfp's! ive slowly realized since jr year that i really am an extrovert, just a picky, quiet one. i havent done this since freshman year, i forget what i was...

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