Steps to Adulthood: Take 1

If you think that this is a shallow topic, you may as well stop reading now. After all, when compared to the bigger topics I could be using my blogosphere for, this may seem pretty menial. For, once again, I am going to write about my hair.

It all started Monday, when I realized that two weeks from that day, I would be living in a different house, with different people, wearing different clothes, driving to a different school, where I would be playing quite a different roll- teacher. In short, EVERYTHING IS ABOUT TO CHANGE. My immediate reaction was this: "I need to dye my hair."

If you are someone who sees me every day, you will know that this thought was never brought to fruition. Still, I could not help noticing every shade and every style that passed me in days following. I visited those websites where you can upload pictures of your face and try out different looks. I even got out the scissors to do the deed myself.

Yet, to no avail, for just today I turned a mental corner and became aware of the circles I have been meandering through. What am I even looking for? Am I wanting to look older or to just create a physical representation of the inner haze I could not otherwise release? In trying to look another way, perhaps to become someone else, am I really more interested in closing off this phase of life for the next? Was this Upland life so bad that I so quickly need to jump to the next step? Why do I suddenly not want to leave? Am I allowed to feel scared?

As I work through this set of questions, or until some others come along, I've come to a conclusion about the hair question: When everything is about to change, some things need to stay the same.